。
Great work.
It’s own ice 🔥
So good to see you, Bodhi.
I might be totally misreading it, but your poem captures a single moment so sharply that it reminded me a little of Matsuo Basho.『松尾芭蕉』
I tried turning your poem into a haiku.
冬の朝
凍る小川をのぞく
澄みて冷たし
Winter morning
peering into a frozen creek
clear and cold
If I lean a bit more into the natural scenery, maybe something like this:
柳陰
半凍の流れをのぞけば
水 澄みて冷たし
In the willow’s shade
looking into the half-frozen stream
the water, clear and cold
And if I try to stay closer to the feeling of your English poem:
夢の香まだ
小川をのぞく朝
The scent of dreams still
morning, looking into the creek
Sorry for taking the liberty and playing around with your poem a bit.
Not at all, this is great. Basho is a huge influence 🙏🏻
Beautiful images
This was cooold
Beautiful haibun!
Great work.
It’s own ice 🔥
So good to see you, Bodhi.
I might be totally misreading it, but your poem captures a single moment so sharply that it reminded me a little of Matsuo Basho.『松尾芭蕉』
I tried turning your poem into a haiku.
冬の朝
凍る小川をのぞく
澄みて冷たし
Winter morning
peering into a frozen creek
clear and cold
If I lean a bit more into the natural scenery, maybe something like this:
柳陰
半凍の流れをのぞけば
水 澄みて冷たし
In the willow’s shade
looking into the half-frozen stream
the water, clear and cold
And if I try to stay closer to the feeling of your English poem:
夢の香まだ
小川をのぞく朝
澄みて冷たし
The scent of dreams still
morning, looking into the creek
clear and cold
Sorry for taking the liberty and playing around with your poem a bit.
Not at all, this is great. Basho is a huge influence 🙏🏻
Beautiful images
This was cooold
Beautiful haibun!